I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
