She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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