We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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