Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
