The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
