physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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