You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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