last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
