My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
