come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
