At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
