just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
