Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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