I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
