Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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