he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Randomize
