AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
