3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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