dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
