Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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