jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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