did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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