awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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