I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
