i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
soo... how was my night?
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