Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
