so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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