this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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