I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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