He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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