come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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