is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
