I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
