if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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