we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My vagina just clenched in fear
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
