It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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