Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
