Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Randomize
