he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
