how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
