She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
