My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
