im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
