So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We're not piercing ourselves today.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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