Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
