I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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