I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
