If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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