bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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