That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
two words: eviction party
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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