there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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