so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
