He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
