Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My pussy is not your playground.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
