margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
