before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
