I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
