im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
