Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
