The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
