I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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